i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
