You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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