): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
