the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
