you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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