I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
