i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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