I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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