like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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