frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
