i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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