her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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