i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I will be naked everywhere
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
