so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
