New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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