They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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