bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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