Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
