Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
