Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
