I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
