"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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