the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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