I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
