never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
