wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
