he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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