I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
