I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
