no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
