I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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