he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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