The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
