fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
