My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
