For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
