Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
