I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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