we have officially lost it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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