Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
