Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
