Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
