I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
