I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
