dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
