think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
wow bdsm is so cute
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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