she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
