Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
