He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
