he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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