Just cropdusted the office
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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