I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
