He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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