what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
