Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
