; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
